operation 20 in 30: day 1

Monday, March 30, 2009

with summer quickly approaching there are a lot of things to be excited about: warm weather, shorts, walking outside, grilling etc. there is a small drawback though, with warm weather comes the need to do away with zip-up jackets and sweaters that hide my bulging love handles. This brings me to operation 20 in 30, my goal to drop 20 pounds in the next 30 days.

in a sad reality i stepped on the scale this morning and the numbers screamed back a glaring 250. this wouldn't be so bad if i was the starting tight end for the bears or in the heavyweight division for mixed martial arts. however with none of those being the case and my pants and shirts which are no longer comfortable (or wearable) i am forced to take serious action.

i have yet to decide the course of action to accomplish this. i may take advice from this dad and how he stays in shape or i might try this option. if you have any ideas feel free to pass them on.

actually i am hoping to grow in discipline and self control over the next thirty days and have it touch more aspects of my life then just food. i am thankful to the grace of God which will give me the strength to do this.

so if you see me eating some sort of crap that will only make me fatter and not thinner feel free to approach me and hit me in the face close fisted. i won't get upset with you, trust me. i need the accountability.

i will keep you posted. day 1 - 250 lbs.

working on our first house

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Home Renovations

something humorous

Monday, March 23, 2009

for everything in life, there is someone who is the better at it that anyone else.

painting party

we will be needing help to paint our house over the next couple of days. if you are available, by all means byopb (bring your own paint brush). it will be a time full of good food, good tunes and good times. be there.

twitter

Sunday, March 22, 2009

i am quite new to twitter and it's social networking ways. mostly i am trying to stay on the up and up of what's cool, however after watching this video i am having second thoughts.

my hero

my son, born on the 20th of january 2009. one heart surgery down, two more to go.

learning satisfaction

it never seems like we can be satisfied. we can have everything yet remain unhappy. why is that? when will i be truly content? i like what louis ck has to say about it.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Wow so it has been about a month since we brought Griffin home from the hospital.  There have been good days and there have been bad days.  Most of the bad days came in the beginning when he did a lot of crying which was hard to handle.  But little by little he adjusted to life at home and we have gotten to know him better.

Oh little Griffin is such a sweet blessing.  Right now he is doing really well.  We have taken him to the doctor quite a few times and each time they are pleasantly surprised with how well he is doing.  He is gaining weight like a champion which is awesome.  They keep telling us that "heart babies" normally don't gain weight easily, but he has already gained more than 3 pounds in this last month!!!  We are so proud of him.  We are so thankful that God has counted us worthy to be his mommy and daddy.  

Now we are just at the point of waiting for his next surgery, sometime this summer.  I was just thinking about it today and it was hard.  I know that with this next surgery and the one to follow he will be able to understand things more and more.  The thing I dread the most is after surgery when he will look at me with those hurting eyes, saying mommy why are you letting them hurt me!!  It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.  But then I remember that in my helplessness God will be right there holding my sweet Griffin when I can't.  God has been so good to us and I know that he loves my baby more than I could ever.  

Each day I am working on handing control over to the Lord.  It is easy to get consumed with worry and fear over the littlest things, which is exactly what God is working with me on.  I want to get to the point where I can find true rest in God, not in what others reassuring me with or the opinions of doctors but my faith and hope in my lord and saviour Jesus Christ.  He is in control and I want to keep it that way.  My how much my little Griffin has already taught me and he has only been a live for a month and a half.

Oh and another note, we just bought a house!!!  God is so good to us.  We have some fixing up to do so we won't move in until probably the end of the month, but we are so excited.  Please pray that we can have wisdom on what needs to be done and then finding the balance in time.  It is hard to get a lot done when we don't get a ton of sleep at night--the joys of the newborn!!  

We will put up pictures soon- well whenever I can figure out how to do it!!  Sorry it had been so long since an update, thanks for all the prayers.

We love you all!!

Sleepless nights...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Sorry it has taken us so long to update on things.  Since bringing Griffin home this has honestly been my only free moment.  

Last Wed. I was so excited to bring him home, but I am not going to lie I was filled with some fear and nervousness thinking that we were going to be by ourselves.  You go from having him hooked up to monitors and nurses watching him constantly to putting him in a car seat and taking him home.  By the time we got him home the stress level was pretty high.  In the NICU he was eating every four hours and then sleeping almost all of those four hours in between.  But like any baby when you take them home somehow they never sleep like they do at the hospital.  Even though he was two weeks old it was like he was a true newborn because he had only been eating for a few days.  

The first night was tough.  He would eat and then just cry and we would have no idea why.  The crying is hard enough with a new baby, but when you have the added looking to see if he is turning blue it can set you over the edge!!!  And to be honest there were a few times where it did. 

 Each day though it has been easier to look at him just as a normal baby and not always looking to see if he is breathing or turning blue.  The days and nights have still been long and he can still get pretty fussy at times.  But I guess I would be fussy if every other time someone touched me it meant pain was coming.  So I think bit by bit he is getting use to the fact that when we mess with him it is just to change his diaper or his clothes.  Things are still intense at times and I have to be careful not to let my stress levels get to high, but hopefully each day it will be less and less.  

Please pray that we can get some sleep at some point.  And John goes back to work tomorrow, so please pray for me, there might be some tears.  We are so thankful for how God has worked in these past few weeks, but know that we have a long road ahead.  But right now I am just trying to take it day by day and there are times I am just trying to make it hour by hour!!!  

Thank you to all of you have been praying I can't tell you how much it has meant and how much we have needed it!!!  We will try to get some pictures up of him at home sometime soon.  

love you all.

A wonderful day!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Well today was a day we never thought would come.  Especially as we sat in the NICU just two weeks ago awaiting the diagnosis of what was wrong with Griffin.  It's hard to believe that it has only been two weeks; it feels more like two months.  Although it has felt long my heart is burdened for the other children that are still there and were there before Griffin ever arrived on the scene.  

If one thing can be said about this whole experience it's that you gain perspective and you gain it fast.  You suddenly realize that all the things you thought mattered, don't, and all the things you're stressing about really don't need to be stressed over.  The most important things are my relationship with Jesus Christ and the hope I have in him, and my family.  Everything else fades away.  I am not sure if we mentioned this earlier but we were right in the middle of purchasing our first house when Amber was induced to have Griffin.  Leading up to the birth we were looking into all the things we could do to try and fix up the house and make it our own.  We really spent too much time on the internet researching, but we were excited.  Since everything has happened, the house has become the furthest thing from our minds.  It just doesn't seem as important.  Like I said before, suddenly I gained perspective.  Material things do not matter, they will fade, and fall apart, and rust, and rot.  Psalm  20: 6-8 has been an encouragement to us through this time, it says "Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand.  Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.  They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright."  Our trust is in the Lord.

Today we were able to bring Griffin home and what a blessing that has been.  Just to see him without wires and monitors hooked up is unbelievable.  I want to say thank you to all who have been praying with us and supporting us.  There have been so many who have brought meals and offered to watch the kids, and even offered to sit with Griffin when Amber and I were sick (unfortunately the NICU is really strict on who can sit in there so they wouldn't have let that last one slide).  Our hearts have been overwhelmed with the amazing amount of love and support given to us in the midst of this trial.  So, from the bottom of our hearts thank you to all of you.  I have put up some pictures of the past couple days and also him coming home, I hope you enjoy.  

We are through the first hoop, but the journey is far from over.  Stay tuned as we progress to the next surgery sometime this summer.