rough day aka 'what is good vs what is best'

Monday, June 15, 2009

this shot of griffin getting his chest x ray is when things were at there best. afterwards, is when he had to get his blood drawn. that is when things went down hill. they stuck the needle in the first time and he actually did pretty well but they couldn't find the vein and they began moving the needle around in his arm but couldn't get it. so they removed the first needle and then moved over to the other arm. this is when griffin thought 'hey what a minute i don't like this at all' (we were actually thinking the same thing). the screaming began and didn't stop for a while because they had four viles to fill and on the fourth the blood stopped flowing. they checked to see if it would be enough, it wasn't. so they came back and did a finger prick and filled a vile from his finger, drop by drop filling it up. needless to say griffin wasn't too thrilled this entire time. and meanwhile he left the biggest sweat stain on the flimsy paper they have on the doctors tables. hard to watch.

leaving today i said to amber that this was the closest analogy to how God deals with us i could think of. i think of it as 'What is Good vs What is Best.' as a parent i find it very hard to pin griffin down to a table and have him scream in my face with tears running down his cheeks. the worst part of it is that he doesn't understand at all why this is happening. only amber and i can see the bigger picture that he needs to endure this pain so that ultimately he can live. to griffin, what would be 'good' would be that he didn't have to get stuck with a needle three different times today, however i know it's not what's 'best'. good vs best. sure we could have opted out of taking him today and said we don't want him to have surgery because of the pain and it just wouldn't be 'good' for him. however it would not be what is 'best' for him. what is best, is that he has surgery and it provides him with the opportunity to develop and grow up to be a boy who runs around and plays instead of the other option. I feel like griffin a lot. screaming in the face of God with tears streaming down and i cannot understand why. it is because i don't see the big picture. that is why i am so thankful to trust in a sovereign God, who is in control, has a purpose and knows the big picture and what is not just good for me but what is best. thank you Lord.