Sleepless nights...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Sorry it has taken us so long to update on things.  Since bringing Griffin home this has honestly been my only free moment.  

Last Wed. I was so excited to bring him home, but I am not going to lie I was filled with some fear and nervousness thinking that we were going to be by ourselves.  You go from having him hooked up to monitors and nurses watching him constantly to putting him in a car seat and taking him home.  By the time we got him home the stress level was pretty high.  In the NICU he was eating every four hours and then sleeping almost all of those four hours in between.  But like any baby when you take them home somehow they never sleep like they do at the hospital.  Even though he was two weeks old it was like he was a true newborn because he had only been eating for a few days.  

The first night was tough.  He would eat and then just cry and we would have no idea why.  The crying is hard enough with a new baby, but when you have the added looking to see if he is turning blue it can set you over the edge!!!  And to be honest there were a few times where it did. 

 Each day though it has been easier to look at him just as a normal baby and not always looking to see if he is breathing or turning blue.  The days and nights have still been long and he can still get pretty fussy at times.  But I guess I would be fussy if every other time someone touched me it meant pain was coming.  So I think bit by bit he is getting use to the fact that when we mess with him it is just to change his diaper or his clothes.  Things are still intense at times and I have to be careful not to let my stress levels get to high, but hopefully each day it will be less and less.  

Please pray that we can get some sleep at some point.  And John goes back to work tomorrow, so please pray for me, there might be some tears.  We are so thankful for how God has worked in these past few weeks, but know that we have a long road ahead.  But right now I am just trying to take it day by day and there are times I am just trying to make it hour by hour!!!  

Thank you to all of you have been praying I can't tell you how much it has meant and how much we have needed it!!!  We will try to get some pictures up of him at home sometime soon.  

love you all.

A wonderful day!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Well today was a day we never thought would come.  Especially as we sat in the NICU just two weeks ago awaiting the diagnosis of what was wrong with Griffin.  It's hard to believe that it has only been two weeks; it feels more like two months.  Although it has felt long my heart is burdened for the other children that are still there and were there before Griffin ever arrived on the scene.  

If one thing can be said about this whole experience it's that you gain perspective and you gain it fast.  You suddenly realize that all the things you thought mattered, don't, and all the things you're stressing about really don't need to be stressed over.  The most important things are my relationship with Jesus Christ and the hope I have in him, and my family.  Everything else fades away.  I am not sure if we mentioned this earlier but we were right in the middle of purchasing our first house when Amber was induced to have Griffin.  Leading up to the birth we were looking into all the things we could do to try and fix up the house and make it our own.  We really spent too much time on the internet researching, but we were excited.  Since everything has happened, the house has become the furthest thing from our minds.  It just doesn't seem as important.  Like I said before, suddenly I gained perspective.  Material things do not matter, they will fade, and fall apart, and rust, and rot.  Psalm  20: 6-8 has been an encouragement to us through this time, it says "Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand.  Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.  They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright."  Our trust is in the Lord.

Today we were able to bring Griffin home and what a blessing that has been.  Just to see him without wires and monitors hooked up is unbelievable.  I want to say thank you to all who have been praying with us and supporting us.  There have been so many who have brought meals and offered to watch the kids, and even offered to sit with Griffin when Amber and I were sick (unfortunately the NICU is really strict on who can sit in there so they wouldn't have let that last one slide).  Our hearts have been overwhelmed with the amazing amount of love and support given to us in the midst of this trial.  So, from the bottom of our hearts thank you to all of you.  I have put up some pictures of the past couple days and also him coming home, I hope you enjoy.  

We are through the first hoop, but the journey is far from over.  Stay tuned as we progress to the next surgery sometime this summer.