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Sunday, June 12, 2011

Griffin's empty bed

I have always been the optimist. Always the one to say "it will be OK."

It doesn't matter what the situation is:
flat tire - "it'll be fine" (no jack to lift the car either - "we'll figure something out")
no money - "we'll be OK"
the kids are climbing over the fence - "they'll be OK, they're kids"
only one car - "I'll ride my bike to work" (it's actually Amber's bike. from high school.)
lost my wallet - "oh shoot, I lost my wallet!" (you can't be optimistic all the time)

My optimism has almost been to a fault. My laid back tendency has gotten me in trouble at times. But for the most part it has been an ability to look at a situation and trust God through it and know he will in fact make everything OK.

Going into tomorrow's cardiologist appointment I don't have that same optimism. Sadly, it comes as a result of the last two times I have taken Griffin in for an appointment. Each of those resulted in us not returning home, and instead being shuttled over to the PICU. So going in to tomorrow's appointment I am fully trusting in God. I know this should always be the case, but in my own ability I can't walk into that place without fear, worry, and doubt.

I am sure everyone has at least seen or heard the verse in Proverbs 3:5-6. Whether it's on a cheesy, sunday school bookmark or a nice needle point, framed picture in your Grandma's bathroom. As redundant as those words might be to some, they could not be more imperative at this time. As a refresher, it goes like this

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him
and he will make your paths straight.

It's pretty clear. Just needs to be put into practice. What is the area you need to trust the Lord with all your heart? Spouse, finances, children, abuse, job... whatever it is, look to the Lord and he will direct your path.

For me it is tomorrow morning at 9:00 AM when I look at a screen to see if the fluid has re accumulated around Griffin's heart. Let's pray for each other. I will pray for your areas of need and I deeply covet your prayers for my area of need.

Pray the bed pictured above would remain empty.

thank you.


Christine said...

Amber and John, Your family has been on my heart for weeks. I think of you and I send up a prayer for little Griffin. There is Power in Prayer, rest in that Keep Proverbs Close to your heart and..."Trust in the LOrd with your WHOLE heart lean NOT on your own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will make your path straight." I am positive you both walk in this verse daily don't loose sight of that...the LORD is with you!!!! I'm praying for you and your family!!!

That verse spoke to me in a deeper way as I read it on your blog...I just lost my 39 year old sister "Charlaine" to a sudden heartattack in her sleep on January 4th 2011...this tregedy has left us wondering what the LORDS plan is for our family....BUT I do know that the amount of prayers that went up for our family at the time of her loss was indescribable....and I rested in it and it was that, that gave me comfort. THere is Power in multitudes of prayer!!! Bless you guys!!!

Love Christine

Christine said...


Walmik said...

This is the most touching blog post I ve ever read. My eyes water easily and they did so now as I read this. I pray for Griffin and for you and and your family. It is just a matter of time and everything will be alright (as you already believe :)

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