Saturday, June 11, 2011

She doesn't write all the time, but when she does it's really good. Read this post about being home from Amber...

Wow, where do I even begin? I want to start off by saying how thankful we are. There are so many things but above all I am thankful for God's faithfulness. It has been a tough road and at times I didn't know if I would make it, but God has been there every step of the way. Through all of this I have learned to find joy in the little things, find my strength in the Lord (minute by minute), and to take every worrying thought captive. Somedays that has come easier than others. The mornings when I would sit at home waiting to hear what the echo results would be were some of the most difficult. I would sit in constant prayer asking for strength to be able to keep going no matter what the results. And for those of you who don't know me well I am an instant results kind of person and nothing about this whole 2 months has been instant!!! I feel like I could go on and on about everything I have learned, but I know you are all probably wanting to hear how Griffin is doing now.

But before I go there, I want to say thank you to all of you that read this blog, follow us on facebook, and have prayed on behalf of our family. As a family we have truly felt the body of Christ surround us. I am always amazed that people continue to keep up with what is happening even when it has seemed like things just keep going. Your faithfulness to our family we will never be able to repay, but know it will always stay close to our hearts!!!

So home... Yikes. It has been filled with sad tears, happy tears, not much sleep, lots of movies, trying to come up with something Griffin would want to eat, Griffin sitting with daddy, not much sleep, Nurse Nancy (our home nurse who come to help with Griffin's picc line), lots of prayer, John and I looking at each other in amazement that we are actually a family at HOME, not much sleep, trying to figure out what a new normal is, and lots of prayers about Monday's echo. There is so much more because it seems like our days last forever (maybe because we see a lot of the night being up with the newborn).

Something else that has been heavy on my heart is looking at Griffin and knowing the reason he cries so much is because of all the pain he has had to go through. So many times I would get caught up in how hard this has been for me, but my baby boy has been the one getting poked, cut open, and had tubes coming out of his chest for 4 weeks. As I write this I can't help, but cry. The pain of that is deep and I can tell it is deep in Griffin, as a mom I honestly sit here and don't even know how to put it into words. Something I am trying to teach my kids is that God is always with them, this is a truth that I have to feel when I think about it. Through every poke, cry, and pain God is and was there with Griffin comforting him better than I could. Something I am still working on. But in all of these things, hugely thankful hearts. Thankful for the little things like doing the laundry and my dishes, all these I longed to do because it would mean life is more normal.

Next Step... Griffin has an echo on Monday. The past two times we have gone for check-ups he has not come home and then had an echo on Monday he has had to go back into the hospital, ugh. So obviously it doesn't really bring warm feelings to my heart when I think about it. It will be a big day for us because then we will truly know that Griffin's heart is healing. That will be so nice to hear. Then when John goes back to work (which can I just say how thankful we are for our church Harvest Bible Chapel- Naperville for being so gracious with us through this time, we love our church and can't wait to be back!!!) and I don't have to think about if Griffin is looking too pale or not eating enough or too tired. On Monday he also has an appointment with Infectious Disease doctor (wow yes it sounds very intense to us too!!) and even though everything has looked good with the infection, we are just praying that goes well too!!!

The prayer...

-That we would walk in God's strength all day long
- For Griffin's echo on Monday- that it would show his heart is still healing and that no more fluid has gathered
- For me not to get overwhelmed, getting use to having 4 kids along with one 2 year old that isn't happy with much these days
- That little by little Griffin would start to come back to his joy, life filled self
- That worry wouldn't over take our minds and thoughts
- That there would be no sign of infection
- As things get better that we never forget where God has taken us
- For Eli and Eden who had their Daddy and brother gone for a long time and are now dealing with so much family change


hinger happenings